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Grandma Maggie answers questions about parenting and childcare issues only. She is a mother of four girls and grandmother to two boys and two girls. Maggie is trained in early childhood education, and was the owner of a successful day care center for many years.
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Teens can get their questions answered on Grandma Maggie's other website, Ask-Anything.com.
Grandma Maggie:
I wanted to tell you about my daughter. She is my only child for now. Her name is Tara. Tara is a very lonely child. She goes to kindergarden at a public school. She comes home crying most of the time and is always the same story about how no one wanted to play with her on the playground and in class. I have told her to ask the kids politely to play, but she says it doesnt work. I have talked to her teacher about it and her teacher says she has tried to have the girls play with her, but when she (the teacher) walks away, they ditch my little Tara. She hates waking up for school and I always have a heck of a time getting her into the car to drive to school. She comes home again, crying, and goes in her room not coming out 'til dinner. I am a stay-at-home mom and have the best husband who is the best father. We are both concerned about Tara. She struggles in school and I think it has to do with the kids at school since she is sooo upset about not playing with the kids. She never went to preschool, which I wish I would have sent her to now. So, this is her first year of going to school.
I am at a loss with ideas to make her happy and have friends, which I know I cant MAKE her happy and make the kids be her friend, but what can I do? I am fresh out of ideas? Maybe a private school? Maybe even homeschool? But then that would just make things worse and not resolve the problem, and also cause her to not ever be social and run into the same problem later. What should I do to try to turn things around? I want the best for my baby, but I just dont know how to do it. I would appreciate some ideas or past experiance methods to try to make it better. Thank you, Grandma Maggie, for taking time out of the day to email back these parents and grandparents who have quesions. It really is a great thing. Thank you for your help.
Gratefully Yours,
Breanne
Hi there!
I'm having a baby soon, actually due less than a week! However, the babies' father and I are not getting along whatsoever. We live together, but we argue non-stop. Neither one of us are happy. I would like to stay together for our baby. I want her to grow up with a mommy and daddy who love each other, but ultimately I think it's the wrong decision. We haven't gotten along during any of this pregnancy and I don't see it getting any better. I don't want my daughter to see the arguing and fighting. I'd prefer us to just split up and remain friends for her sake.
My problem is custody. We have talked about doing joint custody so we both get equal time with her. I don't feel that just because I'm the mother I should have any more time with her than he does. It does not seem fair that he only get her every other weekend and maybe one weekday, especially since he works 10-6:30 every weekend. When would he get time to spend with her?
So, we thought about maybe I get her 4-5 days, then he gets her 4-5 days. Or maybe a week each, but I would hate to go a week without seeing my little girl! The only concern I have is when to start this routine? I don't think it'd be wise or healthy for a newborn baby to be switched from home to home so often. Also, he's never been around babies..I'm not sure how well he would do with a newborn. He's never even changed a diaper before! But then, I wouldn't know when he'd get to see her.
I just don't know how this whole joint custody would work. It seems it would be much easier if she were already a bit older, but she isn't even born yet! I really just need some advice on how to work this out.
Thanks!
Dear Grandma Maggie,
My child Rio is at the age where she starts questioning things. One day coming home from preschool, she asked me, "Mommy, how come everyone has pretty and long names but my name is short and ugly?" I suppose that she meant the more common girls' names. I reassured her that her name was beautiful in every possible way but she insists that she wishes her name would be like her preschool friends. I spent some time telling her the meaning of her name. Because I am half Japanese and my husband is American, we decided that we wanted our first child's name to be special. I used the Japanese characters "Ritsu" and "On" which together mean the laws of melody or music. Together, those two kanji characters make Rio. My husband agreed with the name because in Spanish, it means river. Even after telling her this, she wanted me to call her by her middle name, Kate. I disagreed on calling her this because her first name is her first name for a reason. Everyday now, in preschool she tells the teacher to call her Katie or Samantha, or some other name she thought of according to her mood. I don't know what to do. Please give me some guidance.
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